Tuesday, August 31, 2010
2:48:00 AM
It will never happen, because I will never do it.
Not because I am prideful.
I know he is happier now.
And I know he will never want me back.
I will never dare to ask.
Because it was me who threw the fragments away.
Because I know what his answer will be.
Because I don't want to hear the "no" that will really break my heart.
Because I want to go on, living in self-denial.
The moment he says no, everything will end.
My heart will stop.
In the end, after having stripped myself off layers and layers of defense and rationale, I am left with such a pathetic me.
It's a huge fat lie afterall.
I am not strong; I am very fragile.
Weakling.
I despise myself.
Please please please. Let me pretend there is nothing wrong with my life.
I have been living in pretense for so long now.. years even.
Be it family, friends, relationships or dreams, please let me tell you that they are alright.
It's my only way to keep on moving.
There is nothing wrong..
``like miee for miee -- // * -nobody's perfectt-
