Tuesday, October 05, 2010
2:44:00 AM
Dunno why, I feel really burdened trying to hold this family up..
be it in financial sense or emotional support.
I have tried countless times trying to reconcile my brother and mother.. but my brother is unyielding. I can understand why...but..what if one day my mother die? *choy touch wood*
But seriously..
They will regret their decisions forever.
For me, I know time is ticking.
Which is why I am putting aside more time and money for them.
What can I do?
Actually, even though 2008 was the most stressful year of my life, it was also the year that finally brought my brother back.
For once, I could see my brother regularly.
In the midst of crisis, I sought solace in having my family together.
And even though it was very taxing on me to go to his house in Sembawang (had to walk 20 minutes from mrt) everyday to visit my mother, it was worth it.
To see them talking, cooking, eating, playing mahjong..
and my brother even taught me how to play Hellgate.
But alas! Such moments only lasted for a short period.
I wonder why they have to be so hot-headed..unreasonable..
I am sick of their excuses..
I am also sick of my father just sitting there doing nothing much to rectify the situation.
From young till now, it's only me..trying to get them together. Even when in secondary school, I tried various ways to get my brother home.
Oh yeah and my mother home at times..
Those were the episodic days where there were good shows to see..like banging of head against the wall, trying to commit suicide.. etc.
Now everything seems "fine" on the surface.. but I can feel that everything is going to fall apart.
I have to play along.
I have to be strong.
But everytime I see the medicine or the letters, I wilt even more.
And when my mother acts weirdly, I worry even more.
Tick tock tick tock.
Although I am feeling very wretched these few months, I want time to stop.
``like miee for miee -- // * -nobody's perfectt-
